Top 10 Reasons to Love Tales of the Dim Knight

10) You're between the ages of 25-45

If you’re in this overly wide demographic, and enjoyed watching Saturday morning cartoons as a child, Tales of the Dim Knight will bring back great memories of shows like Superfriends, Batman: The Animated Series, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Batman (the 1960s series version), Underdog, and Darkwing Duck.

We even had one hopeful marketing conversation with a Mr. Terrance Mann, who said, “People will come, Adam. They'll most definitely come. They'll come to you to ask about the book, as innocent as children, longing for the past. ‘We don't mind if you buy a copy,’ you'll say, ‘it's just $10.95 for paperback, $4.25 on Kindle, and $5.95 for all other e-book readers.’ They'll hand over the money without a second thought. Because it's money they have and wholesome laughter they lack.”Or something like that.

9) We Have a Cool Cover

Payno attention to the old saying, “You can't judge a book by its cover.” Instead, think:

“Cool cover equals really cool book.” And then take a look at this cover by Holly Heisey:

Need I say more? No, but a top ten list that stops with the second item on the list and lists it as 9) is too weird even for me.

8) The Superhero Team Up

If you're a warm-blooded superhero fan, nothing warms your heart like superheroes joining forces to take on really bad dudes. Whether it’s Batman and Superman, Spider-man and Daredevil, or even Darkwing Duck and Gizmoduck, a team up makes the story more exciting. So in Tales of the Dim Knight, Powerhouse joins forces with three other heroes in a battle in which the stakes are (of course), the future of all mankind.

7) Real Christian Characters
The media portrayal of Christians is usually pretty annoying. At one extreme, you have the hypocrites and crazy psychopaths spouting Bible verses that inhabit much of the media. At the other extreme, you have the all-too-perfect characters who act like they memorized Evidence that Demands a Verdict and a dozen other pop Christian books.

With our Christian characters, we seek to introduce you to real, decent-hearted folks who try to do the best they can, but don't always know the right thing to say and don't always come off well. Sound like anyone you know?

6) Great Superhero Gadgets

Consider just a few of the devices featured in Tales of the Dim Knight: a rocket pack, an airship that shrinks down to pocket-sized, a shape-shifting key, force fields, a 50-foot giant robot, shock collars, and a cloaking device that hides all the furniture in the room. To paraphrase one of our characters, we have more hardware than True Value.
5) It’s Serialized Fiction

As my work at Laser and Sword will attest, I'm a huge fan of serial fiction. Reading Tales of the Dim Knight is like watching a season of your favorite superhero show, as he battles for honesty and fair play in his continuous skirmish against evil. While underlying threads weave through out each story, Dave has a wide variety of adventures to please your palette.

4) Multiple Secret Identities

Unlike some poor superheroes who have only one alter ego, Mild-Mannered Janitor Dave Johnson actually has three alter egos in the course of the book: Powerhouse, the Red Flame, and the Emerald Avenger. It's three heroes for the price of one.

3) Great Villains

Great Superhero stories require great villains, and in Tales of the Dim Knight, Powerhouse battles a veritable rogue's gallery of classic villains. Marco Silvano is the father of a mob family who has a soft spot for his kids, Night Lord is a drug lord who refuses to do any hit jobs before evening. The old-fashioned Diablo believes in the tried and true villain methods of tying victims above pools of acid and contends there's no such thing as too much high explosives. Ahmed is an Islamic terrorist threatening to blow up Megalopolis. Leona Campbell is an ice queen divorce attorney and self-help guru who teaches there's way too much loyalty in the world.

2) A Family Story

Tales of the Dim Knight has a serious side. Dave becoming a superhero puts a strain on his family when he doesn't tell his wife his secret and she suspects he's cheating on her. At the same time, she finds herself attracted to Powerhouse. Can the Johnson family survive Dave’s superpowers?

1) It's Lots of Laughs

All seriousness aside, Tales of the Dim Knight parodies countless superhero tropes, supervillain tropes, and even some non-comics stuff, such as a speed-dating scene that features a tactless detective. You'll laugh until you stop laughing. It's guaranteed to be the funniest novel you'll read this year.*
*Legal Disclaimers: This guarantee is not valid, and hence a reason for a cause of action, in foreign countries, Alaska, Hawaii, U.S. Territories, commonwealths, or protectorates, or the Continental United States. In addition, the guarantee is valid only for novels which feature both superheroes and speed dating and were published in November 2010. Void where prohibited.

Safety Advisory: Be advised that reading this book while drinking may cause you to laugh so hard your drink spews out your nose. Should not be read while operating heavy machinery.

Feel Free to Share: If you like this post, feel free to repost it on your own website with credit.

What's the Haps 23/11/10

Hello, blog. Long time no see. Well, I'm sorry about that. How about we try starting over? Really, I think we can make this work. You see, there's lots of cool stuff going on behind the scenes here at Splashdown that I think folks would like to look into. And I've never told anyone about most of it! Well, the team knows bits and pieces of it for sure, but it's not like it's a secret or anything. Most of it, anyway.

There is something that is a secret, and that is the list with the authors and manuscripts I am about to contract for next year! It all came together really quickly in the end - just a few weeks back I had nothing at all in the pipelines, but now there are a total of eight or nine manuscripts from five authors on the table. Three of them are even science fiction, my personal favourite genre, even though I do love a good fantasy as much as anyone else. Can't write one for peanuts though, as you'll know if you read my personal blog yesterday.

In any case you can expect a number of announcements on that front in time to come.

So what else is up? Tales of the Dim Knight by Adam and Andrea Graham started shipping yesterday right on time - phew. It was a little hairy there for a day or two. I am going to be working on its video trailer this week, beginning with the music - I always have to have the music first. This is different from other trailers I've done because I'm trying to create the soundtrack myself. One attempt is already behind me, but it was decided that it wasn't superhero-y enough, even if it might be a passable piece of music. You can hear it here for now if you want to, though it will be shifting when I rename it - because the new piece will then be the "real" Powerhouse theme song.

So, nuff said for now, eh. Back to the "day job" for me...

Ask a Superhero: Superhero Theme Music

Int.: As a Superhero afficianado, could you tell us what superhero has the coolest theme music?

Dave: That's pretty easy. Superman.

Int.: Any particular version?

Dave: Every version, whether it was a cartoon, a TV show or a movie, Superman had great themes. Very exciting and stirring. I also love the 1960s Batman Theme and fight music. I used to like the Danny Elfman Batman music from Batman with Michael Keaton, but Willy Wonka ruined that.

Int.: Why?

Dave: Well Derrick wanted to See Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which Elfman scored almost the same way as he did Batman. I was expecting the Joker to appear at any moment in that movie. Now, when I see that Batman series, I end up expecting Oompa Loompas to jump out, so I can't even enjoy those.

Int.: You don't like oompa loompas?

Dave: Not in a Batman movie. Maybe if there was an Oompa Loompa Superhero villain.

Int.: Like maybe the riddler as an Oompa Loompa. "Oompa Loompa Dupedy Doo, Batman, I've got another riddle for you."

Dave: Well something like that anyway.

Int: Beyond the music ruined by Danny Elfman, is there any supehero theme you don't like?

Dave: Sure from the 1966-67 Iron Man TV show. That's too cheesy, even for me.

Int: I didn't know that was possible. What about your own theme music?

Dave: My theme music? I'd have to have a TV show first.

Int: You know like when some basebally players come to the plate, they have music playing, like We Will Rock You.

Dave: You expect me to fly into battle, playing, We Will Rock You.

Int: You mean you've not thought of it?

Dave: Not that specifically, I did ask about a theme for the website. The lawyers say I can't have theme music that's been published because the artists can sue. They said I could use public domain music for a theme, but the only thing I've come up with is World War I fight music. Imagine flying into battle with that.

Int.: I see the challenge. Maybe, you should consider some giveaways.

Dave: That's a thought.

Int: Let's talk about it next week. E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd, but you can sample the first four chapters for free in our ebook.

Ask a Superhero: Superpower Envy

Interviewer: Is there any superpower you'd like to have? You know, a little superpower envy.

Dave Johnson: I don't even know all the powers I have, but I'd like to have the ability to talk to animals. That would have come in handy in at least one adventure when I met up with the Loch Ness monster.

Int: In Loch Ness?

Dave: No, in a mysterious zoo.

Int.: The Loch Ness monster in a zoo? Could you tell us more?

Dave: No.

Int.: Why not?

Dave: Haven't you heard of teasing the book?

Int: You know that's an annoying answer.

Dave: But I bet you'll buy the book.

Int: Well, I'll show you, not only won't I buy your book. I'll tell ten of my friends not to buy your book.

Dave: You know you get paid off the royalties.

Int: As I was saying, be sure to buy five copies, make it six, so you can give one to each of your friends.

Dave: What if they don't have six friends?

Int: This is a great present to make peace by bringing a smile to the face of your worst enemy.

*Dave grabs a pencil.”

Dave: I hope Marco will like it.

Int: E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd, but you can sample the first four chapters for free in our ebook.

Ask a Superhero: Picking a Costume

Welcome to our continuing weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.

Interview: Our next question comes from Abner Hollaran in Lewisville, Texas. Abner thinks your custome looks great, but it doesn't look comfortable.

Dave Johnson: It's not really.

Int: If it's not comfortable, why do you wear it?

Dave: There are three priorities in Superhero costumes. The top priority is a cool looking design. The second is safety.

Int.: Wait a second. You're saying its more important that your custome look cool than be safe.

Dave: What good is it to be safe if people laugh at you when you come to rescue them. Safety is a close second, though. Then, there's comfort. Unfortunately, looking good and being safe can make you kind of stiff. That's why when I get home from work, I change into something more relaxing.

Int.: Have you ever thought of doing a Casual Friday?

Dave: Casual Friday?

Int.: You know instead of your Superhero costume, you fly into town with a Superhero t-shirt, a light mask, and a pair of shorts.

Dave: If I were to fly into town on a rocket pack wearing a pair of shorts, there would be a barbeque on Casual Friday.

Int: What would be cooked?

Dave: My legs. Second, office workers can have casual Fridays because their work is over. But not superheroes. We fight a continuous skirmish-

Int.: You mean never ending-

Dave: No, the lawyers said I had to use continuous skirmish. As I was saying, we fight a continuous skirmish against the forces of larceny, drug dealing, and murder. Evil doesn't take the weekends off, so our resolve can never weaken, and neither can our clothes.

Int.: How do you keep your costume clean.

Dave: Easy, I imagine my costume into existence, so its clean when I put it on. I also dust off my already clean costume.

*Dave stands and dusts off his already clean costume.*

Int.: But it was already cleaned.

Dave: Of course, it's clean because I dusted it off.

Int (sighs): Ookay. E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd, but you can sample the first four chapters for free in our ebook.

Ask a Superhero: Picking a Name

Welcome to our continuing weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.

Interviewer: Our next question comes Kit Tyler in Tyler, Texas. Kit wants to know if he became a superhero, how would he pick out his name?

Dave: This is a great question for a potential superhero to think of and I racked my brain until one of my kids gave me a name. As you may not have a kid to name you, I actually have come up with some great supehero names that I'll let anyone takes who wants to use them:

1. The Human Itch
2. Expendable Man
3. The Fool
4. The Rope Burn Kid
5. Amoeba Dude
6. The Amazing Ordinary Man
7. Flea Bag
8. Flag Football Commando
9. Used Car Man

Int: And if people don't want the villains to laugh.

Dave: Well, there's a reason these names haven't been taken yet. Otherwise, you just need to make sure the name's not taken. Perhaps, the best thing to do is to use a Thesaurus. For example if you want to strike fear in the hearts of criminals use a synonym for fear and put a "the"before it. Anyone will do.

Int: Like The Terror?

Dave: No, The Terror's been taken. However, you could be, The Consternation.

Int: So, 'Stand back villains, I'm the Costernation.'

Dave: You got it.

Int: That doesn't sound quite right.

Dave: Well, you take it out for a test drive, use it on a mission and see how it works. If the name doesn't work out, try another one.

Int: E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd, but you can sample the first four chapters for free in our ebook.

Ask a Superhero: What Do You Think You Were Doing?

Welcome to our continuing weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.
Interviewer: Well, fancy meeting you.

Dave Johnson: You in a bad mood?

Int.: You were supposed to be here every week for the past two months! And I've been here and where have you been? Do you think I've got nothing better to do.

Dave: Really, I'm sorry.

Int.: You could have called, you could have written-

Dave: Would you like to know why I was gone?

Int.: I don't care! I have no interest in knowing what you were doing. I just have one question.

Dave: And that is?

Int.: What were you doing all these months?

*Dave blinks*

Dave: Okay, well, the writers were doing a rewrite. They wanted to fill in some blanks.

Int.: It took them two months.

Dave: Well, they interviewed Naomi and her friend Carmela, and they needed to get some more information from me. Apparently, I'd been a little vague on a few details.

Int.: Is there anything else to come out of this?

Dave: Well, the authors felt the door was open to a sequel.

Int.: So that's what this was all about. A sequel! You get more royalties, they get more royalties and I spend two months of you not showing up. I didn't go to interviewer school for this!

Dave: It really wasn't-

Int.: This is all about the plush toys.

Dave: What?

Int.: The writers have got all kinds of rights, and they've spent these two months sprucing up your story so that you can sell plush toys and a hundred sequels.

Dave: I wouldn't do 100 sequels. If I do a sequel, I'm only doing one.

Int.: Why only one?

Dave: Well, think about this Superman II was better than Superman the Movie, Spiderman II was better than Spiderman, The Dark Knight was better than Batman Begins.

Int: Okay, and your point?

Dave: Superheroes can only make a good story and then a good sequel. After that, it's all downhill. Think Superman III, Spiderman III, Teenant Mutant Ninja Turtles III. No, I'd only consent to one sequel.

Int.: As long as you get to sell your plush toys.

Dave: You're bitter about that. No one has signed a plush toy contract.

Int.: Not yet. But you will.

Dave: Do you think you'll be in a better mood next week. How about we come back then with a reader question.

Int.: I'll decide when to end this interview, and I think now's a good time. E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. He may decide to grace us with his presence.

Dave: Oh come on, I'll be here.

Int: We'll see. You can also follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd. A free ebook containing the first four chapters is available for download. You can also become a fan of the book on Facebook.
He's also set up a Twitter account @dimknight.