Interviewer: Kat had a few more questions.
Dave Johnson: She gets more than one?
Int: Well, it's not like we're brimming with questions.
Dave: Okay, go ahead.
Int: She wants to know if you have any pet peeves about superheroes.
Dave: Not about the real ones.
Int: What about in the comic books?
Dave: Well, I do have one big pet peeve and that's Superheroes getting involved in politics. I want to see heroes fighting the bad guys, not mouthing off about Dole v. Clinton or whoever is running for President. Or bashing tea parties or having political talk show hosts as Cyborg heroes. Superheroes have no place in politics.
Int: I'm curious. Do you vote at all?
Dave: I believe it's every citizen's obligation to vote. However, you should never vote in a specific race where you don't know what's going on.
Int: So how do you vote?
Dave: I go and get a ballot and then put it in the envelope with all the races I know something about filled out.
Int: How many is that usually?
Dave; Um-uh-zero. They always say that I'm the quickest voter they've ever seen. But I get the "I voted" sticker. That's what counts.
Int: So you really aren't political at all. I don't know how you'll deal with this next question. She wants to know, If you could choose one superhero to run for President who would it be?
Dave: I don't know why a Superhero would want to run for President. Being a superhero is far better, and you don't have to be dishonest like in politics. But I think the only logical choice would be Iron Man, Tony Stark. First, it takes a lot of money to run for President, and Stark has even more money than Bruce Wayne. Secondly, if you run for office, it's always those you love that get hurt most. Most superheroes have secret identities to protect their families and would never do anything like run for office. However, Tony Stark would be a good candidate for office as he's a narcissist who wouldn't be as bothered by his friends getting some unfavorable press, and being emotionally wounded. They'll get over it.
Int: Well that makes sense in a cynical sort of way. We'd love to answer your questions. E-mail your questions for Dave to email@example.com.
Dave: I will hold my breath until I get an e-mail.
(Dave inhales deeply and holds breath.)
Int: That's not a good idea, you could pass out.
Dave (through clinched teeth): Nonshense, I'm a shuperhero.
Int: Want to read more about the wild and varied adventures of Dave Johnson? Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 1st.
(Interviewer runs over to Dave and slaps him.)
Int: Come on. Get up. Anyone got any smelling salt?